Keegan, the Restroom and Why England Supporters Must Cherish This Era

Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to use the facilities back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|